Then and Now

I was chatting with an old friend from grade school (yeah we go back that far) and realized that the situation at work is becoming alot like Jr High.  Full of drama, bullying and general angst.  I've been trying to figure out how to conquer this drama queen.......and come out on top. 

Then and Now a comparison...

Then:  I had acne.  Now:  I have Rosacea.
Then:  I didn't need a bra. The smallest at 32A was too big.  Now: Oh I need a bra alright.  If just to keep from zipping a nip in my jeans
Then:  Are you there God, it's Me Margaret.  Now:  Are you there God, please make it stop!
Then:  David Cassidy made me all warm and tingly  Now:  I just have hot flashes
Then:  I would never dream of french kissing a boy  Now:  The things I'd do to Patrick Dempsey would make a sailor blush
Then:  I was atheletic and into every sport   Now: getting out of bed most mornings feels like the olympics
Then: I could eat a Big Mac, Large Fries, Large Coke and a cherry pie every day for lunch and remain under 98 lbs  Now:  I drive past McDonalds and pick up 5 lbs....
Then:  I wore all the wrong clothes  Now:  Most days I still wear the wrong clothes but once in a while I get it right!
Then:  I was bullied and never fit in.  Now:  I feel like I'm being bullied and still don't fit in.

I guess the big difference is that I can recognize the bully.  But the feelings of being bullied are still there and I'm shutting down.  I'm damn good at my job and no matter how hard the bully tries, she won't beat me at that. However, it's the digs at my clothes or what I eat or even the fake nails I got, that are killing me.   I do know that she is threatened by me as far as work goes.  She sucks at the job and she believes it's beneath her to even do it.  So is she lashing out in attempts to feel better about herself?  Trying to look better by making me look bad? That never works in the long run right?  It may not work in the long run, but in the short run, it's starting to wear me down.  I don't want drama, I have plenty at home.  I just want to go to work, do my job, get my check and go home.

OK...some days I want to be one of the cool kids. I want friends at work, I want to be popular and sought out!!!  The experts say don't give up your power......but how the hell do you do that?  That I was never good at....I give it away free.......sometimes even to the pimply faced teenager at Gas N Shop. Seriously.......how do you do it?

God it feels like Jr High...........and the hell that goes with it!