And.....

we're off. On Vacation. Finally.

And for all of you burglars just waiting for me to leave my house so you can steal my uber expensive jewelry and high tech electronics...we have a house slash dog sitter and a fancy schmancy alarm system, so be forewarned!

We're heading south, not to the border but close, San Antonio.  Please pray that the boy doesn't bite the TSA agent  (well he bites the dentist why not a government agent???) during a pat down and also pray that if yours truly gets a pat down......he looks like Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt and not Ed Gein (too lazy to link, so use your mad Google skills). Momma could use a good pat down..... just sayin'. 

Have a happy and safe 4th.  I might even post some pics. I know, I can feel your excitement! And stay out of my underwear drawer...that's not where I hide the goods!!!

Amen Sistah!

Check out my friend's post on Hopeful Parents.  Click here.

And Mommy got the Vapors

I can't say I'm not a morning person, but when I haven't been sleeping well (see the job fiasco) I tend to like to sleep as late as possible.  Well if you call 5:40am late......

This morning I woke up at 4:00 and laid there and fretted and stewed about work and insurance and what will this all end up costing us......took me almost an hour to fall back asleep. If you're a wiz at the new math like I am....that left me 40 mins of sleep.  The buzzer went off way to early but I staggered up and out of bed.  Hit the potty and let the little dog out of her kennel.  It's potty time for her too!

So we head out back and I actually went part way out with her.  For a June morning it was colder than a witch's you know what, so I stood back.  She took one look north and made a beeline.  Now this is typical....the bunnies hide over on that side of the house. Her and the fat dog have made it a game of catch the bunnies, which neither one is fast enough to actually catch one, but they have puppy dreams all the same.  I didn't think much about it, but little princess didn't come back. Hmmm...I looked out the sunroom window and didn't see her. Then the bushes wiggled.  Okay, she's under the bush, huntin' wabbits (eehhhhheeeee).  I waited another minute, then called her. No Sammie.  Hmmm....so I wandered back out in my nightie (oh really people, it's sexy as hell, trust me) and to my shock and horror...the gate was wide OPEN and the little doggie was G-O-N-E!!!! 

Did I mention she's a runner? Oh yeah, she's a runner. And she was 2 blocks down the street, crossed one busier street already. This is when mommy got the vapors, in her sexy nightie, at 5:45am. 

Now I had the option to run down the street....boobs a floppin'.....screaming her name or go back in and get daddy. Daddy was the best option at this point (really if the neighbor men saw me, I'd be stalked for days, that's how hot I looked).  So I go hauling butt up the stairs to get Daddy. He of course is angry to be woken up 30 mins earlier than normal to go chase a naughty puppy.  I was like Dude, deal.  She's moving north......I think the pit bull lives over there.....

So he donned some gym shorts and opened the front door and guess who's waggely butt was on the porch???   Yup Princess came back home!! Apparently she didn't want to see mommy's flappin' boobs runnin' down the street either!!!

I'm awake, wide awake. No need for coffee....as I sit and contemplate who the hell opened that gate (which we never use and it between two houses) after 9:00pm last night, when the dogs went out last????

What a Week!

Been quite a ride.  Alex got more stars than he lost and I got a new job.  WWWWHHHHAAA???

Yeah I know.  I wasn't happy at the new place. Old technology, old hens to deal with, a wishy washy boss who didn't give me much confidence and a project the size of Texas - with me as the only resource!!  When the opportunity presented itself to go back to my old job, I jumped on it.

I know I know.  I'm a basketcase right?  You shouldn't just quit a job.  But I am at the age (ancient) where life is getting way too short and I already have more than my share of stress and heartache.....I don't want to spend 9 hrs a day miserable and hating every minute of that 9 hours!  Now was the time to do it, I made a mistake and I fixed it.  I apologized to the people I've inconvenienced and moved on.

Looking forward to going back.  I really liked it there.  Oh sure, work is work.....but at least I wasn't miserable!  I'm sure I'll have a few days of ribbing and generally being made fun of, but that's what I liked about it!

Another Fifer

Alex got all five stars yesterday!!! Totally different kid than the one that got kicked out last week.  Today he was a bit ornery as we drove to the Dr's office, so I hope today goes ok.  Keep your fingers and toes crossed, rub your crystals, poke pins in voodoo dolls, whatever works!!!

We saw the psychiatrist this morning. We decided to up the Risperdol and add another drug that will help supress the appetite (Risperdol can cause weight gain because it doesn't let Alex know he's full, so he eats and eats and eats).  Risperdol has been a wonder drug for him, so I am confident upping the dose will be a big help with behaviors. 

One takes for granted having a "typical" child.  Dealing with these behaviors is draining.  This last medication (Geodon) made Alex aggressive and anxious.  It was ugly.  Add on top of it, the fact that he can't tell you how he feels or what's wrong......and you have a recipe for some uncomfortable/difficult situations and suspensions from daycares ( and not good recipes like Zadge comes up with).......

Dream Weaver

I usually take some type of sleep aid before bed.  Oh now, nothing harsh, the sleep aids you find at Walgreens.....although some Percocet might be nice....I can't go to sleep without it.  They all say it's not addicting but there you are, well here I am....can't sleep without it.

I had a weird dream last night.  I was at home, getting ready for the day, in the kitchen and you'll never guess what we had in the kitchen? Oh go on, guess....I'll wait...tick tock tick tock tick tock.....I knew you wouldn't guess it!!!! We had a swimming pool with a pet Orca in it!  WTF does Walgreen put in those sleep aids? LSD??  A swimming pool in the kitchen with a whale it, a pet whale named Henry.  First of all, if I had a pool that ginormous, it would be in the back of my McMansion, with a pool boy and not with a whale swimming around, pooping in it!!! Second, wouldn't Oprah be the only one with a kitchen big enough to house a whale sized pool?  My kitchen barely holds 2 dogs, a kid and me!!

What do you think it means? I was feeding him before I left for work and it all seemed very normal...except I was feeding him those frozen brine shrimp...if any of you have ever had an aquarium (the 20 gallon kind, not the bazillion gallon whale kind) it's like 3 oz of frozen shrimp. So I broke Henry off a teeny tiny piece and headed on to work. 

If any of you (all two of you who read here) what do whales mean in dreams? I am hoping it means that I am about to win a HUGE lottery amount and move into a McMansion with a pool boy.  And a nanny for my bratty child and a dog walker for the bratty dogs.  And a whale watcher too?

On a side note, pray for my bratty kid. He really needs to stay in daycare......cause mommy and daddy have to support the ginormous whale.....

And we Got a Fifer!

Daycare has been precarious at best.  We've pretty much hit, kicked or bitten everyone in the classroom, including baring our teeth to our teachers. *SIGH*  But on Tuesday......taaa daaa... a Fifer!

A fifer?  The kids get stars as rewards for good behavior.  If you get five, you get a prize from the prize bucket. I wish I had a prize bucket at work.  Cause you bet your sweet patootie I'd get all five stars and I'd pick an awesome prize like a day off or an ice cold Bud......but I digress.  Alex got all five stars on Tuesday! He was so proud of himself too! And the prize bucket was glorious (well to kids like Alex it was) and he picked a yellow smiley face rubber ball.  Which I immediately thought the dang dogs are going chew the heck out of it....but ok.  Plus he got to go to Culver's and get ice cream chocolate.

Yesterday he got 4 stars. We blew it in the last 20 mins of class with a meltdown! And chasing the others around the room trying to hit them.  I guess if one is going to blow the prize bucket, you might as well blow it big huh?

Today is the zoo. Is there any hope for five stars? First meltdown will be the butterfly exhibit......he looses his mind in the butterflies..........

Mish Mash

My life is pretty boring.  I'd love to log on here and tell you about my latest trip to Bora Bora or how Brad REEEE-LLY wanted to leave Angelina for me...but alas......I cannot tell a lie.  Snore City.....

Our sprinklers broke.  Good thing it was only 102 yesterday and not 105.  I had to drag out the hoses and water the 3 day old bushes and flowers, which had wilted down to almost nothing.  Bets on how long it takes to get fixed? Yeah Mr Handiman is all over it....which worries me. And the $150 dollars worth of plants? My guess cripsy critters by Thursday.  And all that rain we've been getting? Oh yeah...that STOPPED.......

The dogs are driving me nuts.  They're bored too.  We got out over the weekend, but last night was too dang hot.  So Stanford is chewing the eyes off of stuffed animals.  It's very disturbing to look down and see a one eyed frog staring back up at you.  He had a very accusatory look too (like don't you have any control over this beast)....thank God we don't have a Chuckie Doll or I would have run for the hills or the nearest exorcist!   And the little dog? Apparently pooping outside is just want too much of an indignity so we crap in the house.  And for good measure we make sure some gets stuck in the fur so mommy has to hike me upside down and pick it off.   Hey it's negative attention, but it's attention right?  I would mention the non stop barking at people/dogs walking by, but why ruin a good thing? 

The kid started his new daycare. Yeah we've pretty much kicked and bitten everyone in our class, including a few teachers.  I don't want to even know the odds of getting kicked out of this one.....

Well off to the hellhole....errrr...work. No I'm still not liking it.  I think I made a mistake taking this job, but I'm stuck. So I have to figure out how to make the best of it.  Which is not my strong suit.

Aren't you glad you stopped by????  Don't you all feel better about your life????