Today would have been my grandma’s 95th earthly
birthday. I guess I say earthly because
who knows how old are souls are right? She’s on that plane and we’re here so I
have to count here, it’s all I’ve got to go on, I’m no Shirley McClaine!
I can’t believe it’s been 5 yrs since we had her big 90th
blow out. It was tons of fun. We had no idea at the time that she only had a
few more months with us. In some ways I’m
glad we didn’t know and in others I’m kind of miffed we didn’t. I wish I had known, wish I spent those
remaining months in a more meaningful way with her.
People tell you make the time you spend with loved ones
count. And you always say right, right.
I do I do. I do that. I don’t take
anyone or any time for granted. But do you?
Think about it. Think about those long days at work……..those long weeks
when you work overtime….think about the birthday parties you miss, the friends
you put off, the invitation you RSVP no too, the calls you screen.
I didn’t get to spend my grandma’s last days with her. It wasn’t my choice, it was made for me. By selfish, jealous people. Even though it’s been almost 5 yrs it still
hurts. I still apologize to my grandma
for not being there. Oh I know she knows now, she’s not angry, she’s forgiven
everyone, she’s seen everyone’s heart, everyone’s earthly foibles. To her it all doesn’t matter, it’s all good.
But to me it still does.
Some day I’ll be able to let it go, but I’m not there
yet. Getting closer but not quite. I cried myself to sleep last night and today
I’ve been asking her to show up in my dreams and talk to me! That would be a
great birthday gift……….well to me maybe! But I’ll take it!!!
Happy Earth Birthday Grams!
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